9:48 p.m. - Wednesday, Mar. 17, 2010
Give me Love
I'm part of this online fitness community where I track my calories and exercise and blah blah blah . . .I blog there about my progress. Another user commented on a blog post yesterday. It started, "Hi, girl." And I don't know what the deal is, but I'm overly sensitive these past few days. I read that first line . . .and I wanted to cry. It made me miss my mother (who is not missing). "Hi, girl . . ." like I was calling her on the phone. And it's not like I can't call her now. But . . .oh fuck this. This is too complicated.
Worried About: corporate imprisonment.
Sad About: feeling alone.
Happy About: the weather.
I just miss having people next to me that love me. Yes, he loves me. But due to serious and complicated events both past and present, I feel insecure and isolated and alone. And we never connected. Everything I am, he is not. Everything he is, I am not.
I just want peace. Peace, peace, peace.
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