9:44 p.m. - Sunday, Mar. 14, 2010
I have tended my own garden much too long . . .
Less anger, more self-actualization. There were moments of absolute bliss. Standing on the dock with the warmth of the setting sun on my face. Sitting around a table with the people I love . . .capturing the single pebble. Driving at 35 miles an hour through the snow trails of Vermont . . .so giddy with excitement that it just felt natural to giggle.
I've spent so long being introspective and isolated that I don't always recognize the pain I inflict on others. I'm at a point where I can clearly see the division. And I can choose to change it, or go on . . .ignoring. Tonight, I did both. I relented. But I wasn't really there. It felt like a transaction. He actually said thank you. Is that weird? I felt happy to make him happy . . .
There are events. There are reasons. And wouldn't it feel good to tell someone else? To let it go. Finally. Just let it go.
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