9:09 a.m. - Saturday, Jan. 14, 2012
Kirtan
I sat in the shadow of Krishna. Watching the room. Whispers of a heart-opening experience. Whispers of involuntary displays of emotion. I held back, hugging the wall. The wall would keep me safe. The wall would keep me separate.
As the band began to play, the room started to fill with the energy of thirty voices chanting Om Hare Om . . .I sang with my heart, from the dark corner.
I could feel the vibrations from every soul in my throat, in my stomach, in my heart.
I listened, enraptured by the stories and held by the music.
We became the 10-headed monster. Let him be ugly . . .let him scare you . . .really let him out . . .I came close to letting go, but felt the sting of salty tears welling up in my eyes, so I pushed him back down . . .did not expel him . . .let him reside in my soul a little longer. When will I be ready?
Shiva Shankara . . .
Shanthi, shanthi, shanthi.
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