11:18 a.m. - Friday, Apr. 16, 2010
Alone
Am I doing the right thing?
This knot in my stomach says no . . .
I have a great job. A secure job. A job I could grow with. A potential career. And I was on the path. I was set-up to go back full-time in May when I graduated. I was set-up to move into a position that would allow me to move up to assistant manager. A salary position. But I gave it up.
For nothing. For the possibility that something might happen.
I feel so dirty right now. Like, I'm hurting people by doing this. Hurting him, because I could have made more money and chose not to. Hurting me, because I could have had a more flexible schedule which is what I needed. Hurting people who invested time in me . . .invested support. Invested money. Hurting the people who would have moved up by me moving up.
Fuck.
Please, God, tell me I'm doing the right thing.
I feel completely alone in this moment. Completely alone.
�
�
