11:16 p.m. - Wednesday, Apr. 14, 2010
Not feeling good . . .
I've been submitting my resume all over the East Coast for the past three hours. I've got to stop before I get discouraged. I have these delusions of grandeur when I first submit the application. What would my life be like working on a farm in upstate New York? How would it be to help house-bound people function day-to-day? What if I stuck with what I know and worked for my old community college in the financial aid department?
And then, from some deep dark place, a voice starts whispering . . .you can't do that. You can't do that, you can't do that! And I believe it.
But I can't do THIS, either.
Am I going to make it?
You know what I'd really like to do? Slice my skin open with a razor blade.
You know . . .to be perfectly honost.
�
�
