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7:13 p.m. - Monday, Jan. 25, 2010
Meltdown.
I feel like I don't have a right to be irritated. I have to be positive. I have to think happy thoughts. I have to remember how lucky I am to breathe air and have life at all. But I AM irritated. I want the right to be fucking pissed off. The furnace has a huge leak and water is all over and there's no hot water and I hate this filthy, moldy goddamn apartment. I hate this job. I hate having to make sure everyone else is happy. I hate everything. I know I'm having a temper tantrum - but I just fucking WANT to.

Sometimes I want to run far, far away and give up everything I own and start over. But I'm trapped. I'm a prisoner in my own life.

And I'm STARVING.

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