12:56 a.m. - Wednesday, Dec. 30, 2009
To Thine Own Self . . .
Why did I do this? I don't predict doing anything with this useless degree. I imagine I could give piano lessons. But I could have done that all along. So I will have wasted all this aggrevation and hard work and sacrifice of time and money and even happiness . . .on a degree I will never use.
I don't have any practical skills. I can't farm or carve or build or be a plumber or an electrician . . .
I feel like I have the ability to teach others. I have patience and I love to see the potential in the people around me.
I don't want to work for something meaningless. I want to be useful. I want to do something worthwhile.
I would love to teach English as a second language. I would love to help adults earn their GEDs - or learn life skills.
I could do these things.
I'm afraid of having this degree. Because it means I will have to live up to my own potential. And while I can help foster it in others, I have hated, abused, neglected, and berated myself.
I'm not worth my own time.
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