11:17 a.m. - Monday, Dec. 21, 2009
Head of Household
Sometimes I feel like the man in our relationship. I know what I'm about to say is totally sexist - and I declare myself to be a wholly independent, powerful, intelligent woman who can do anything a man can do and does not conform to sexist gender roles . . .but . . .
It had snowed through the night, so I knew I would need extra time to get ready for work in the morning. I got up, nudged him to see if he was getting up anytime soon . . .and let him fall peacefully back to sleep as I pulled on my boots and other snow gear. I spent a good twenty minutes digging my car out from under the snow. And then his.
The night before I had taken out the trash and this morning I just finished making sure all the bills were paid.
He goes to work, buys toys we don't need, and is blissfully ignorant to debt and money management. I guess the only hole in my gender role reversal theory is that he doesn't cook dinner, either.
I love him. And I like being in charge of the bills. And I wanted to take out the trash so I could walk in the snow. And I wanted to help him by making sure his car was ready to drive. I like to surprise him with the occassional home-cooked meal. I do these things because I want to. But sometimes, I would like to release complete responsibility. I would like to feel supported and cared for . . .and safe.
I feel overwhelmed by my responsibility for our household.
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